


Paint By Numbers

by AmandaCritelliWestphal



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-04 08:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6650506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaCritelliWestphal/pseuds/AmandaCritelliWestphal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first of (hopefully many) replies to prompt requests! Pairings will be tagged as needed, rating unlikely to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So that prompt list going around tumblr is fun. If you like this and want to request something, hit me up in the comments or on my tumblr, user aecw.
> 
> As always, thank you to Ngozi for excellent characters to work with.

Prompt #27, "I'm pregnant", for spicycheeser.

 

Shitty crawled out the window and joined Jack in the Reading Room, a partial six-pack dangling from his fingers and his comforter wrapped around his shoulders.

“The fuck, bro, it’s like 40 out. How long have you been out here?!”

Jack didn’t look over, shrugged his shoulder, and kept staring out at the stars. 

Popping open a beer, Shitty pushed a can into Jack’s hand before wrapping the edge of his blanket around him, too.

“Jesus, Shitty, if you’re cold why don’t you put on clothes instead of a blanket?” Jack bitched, as Shitty’s bare side pressed up against him.

“Don’t stifle me, bro. I’ve gotta be naked as long as possible. Those Harvard douches won’t roll with this. Besides, you love it.”

Jack chuckled and opened his own beer.

“So what’s got you angsting outside at 2am this time? Thinking about wage inequality? Historical revisionism? Daydreaming about the moment you win the Stanley Cup?” Shitty prodded Jack in the ribs. 

Jack was quiet for a few moments.

“I’m going to miss this,” he finally admitted.

“Obviously,” Shitty grinned. “Good luck finding an NHL teammate to cuddle naked with you.”

“Shitty. I mean, all of this. Living with you and Rans and Holster and Bittle. The noise, the stupid fights over Mario Kart. Coming home and smelling whatever the hell Bittle’s been making. You, even, crawling into my bed and forcing cuddles on me.”

Jack stopped, uncomfortable.

“Bro. Do you really think that this all ends here? Do you think I’m not going to come visit you in whatever fancy fucking apartment you get? Christ, you know Bits will be there at least a couple times a month trying to feed you. And if you think Rans and Holster aren’t going to crash in on you and blame it on Haus ghosts you’re crazy.”

Jack smiled, but didn’t respond. 

“Anyway,” Shitty continued, “I’ve been meaning to tell you something. Remember last month, after Rans beat Rainbow Road and we all got schwastey, and I cuddled you all night?”

“Hmm?” Jack muttered, still in a bit of a funk.

“Well bro, I’m pregnant, and it’s yours. And I swear to Christ this kid better not come out looking like your baby pictures. Fucking nightmare that would be,” Shitty shuddered, taking one last swig from his beer.

Jack’s face spread into a wide grin.

"Fuck you, Shitty, I was PRECIOUS.”

“Still are, you magnificent asshole. Now get inside and go to bed.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birthday fic for @imamaryanne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday!

Birthday fic for @my-random-fandoms! Prompt 39, "Hey, I was gonna eat that!"

 

It started like any other normal day. Bitty was rolling out a crust, and Holster was sitting at the table with his laptop, trying (and failing) to concentrate on writing his first paper of the semester, very pointedly ignoring the fact that Ransom had March upstairs in the Attic. Again. 

One of the new tadpoles walked in, arms laden with grocery bags from Stop and Shop. Holster couldn't remember his name (probably a Bad Thing as his co-captain) but got up to help Red Hat unload. He was putting four pounds (Jesus Bitty, REALLY? We gotta do more squats) of butter into the fridge when he heard a sharp inhalation. He turned around to see Bitty, eyes narrowed and face flushed, glaring at the taddy.

"What in Sam Hill is THAT DOING IN MY KITCHEN," Bitty seethed, as the taddy, unaware of his imminent demise, continued removing a cherry pie from the plastic bag.

Holster cringed and decided against intervening. 

"The store had some pretty good looking pies, so..." Red Hat trailed off, finally noticing the tension in the room and the look on Bitty's face. 

"Good looking pie. From STOP AND SHOP."

Red Hat looked uncertain and wary. 

"Yes?"

"NOT IN MY HAUS, YOU NAMELESS HEATHEN CHILD!"

Bitty snatched the pie off the counter, and holding it like toxic waste, with great prejudice slammed it into the garbage can.

"Hey, I was gonna eat that!" protested Red Hat.

"Shit kid, you have a death wish or something?" Holster finally intervened, taking Red Hat by the arm and steering him out of the kitchen, while Bitty muttered angrily about sacrilege and his ancestors spinning in their graves.

Later that day, Red Hat received a mysterious text from an unknown number that simply read:

This is not Your Story, bro. If you were meant for this narrative, you'd have a name, right? Don't worry, you'll find somewhere. Or not. You really only exist to add a body to the background.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 25, "I can't believe you talked me into this."

Chowder could hear giggling through the door that separated the shared bathroom from Lardo's room. Trying to ignore it, he focused on removing the bits of caramel stuck around the wires of his braces. He hadn't MEANT for it to happen, but he loved caramel and it was Halloween soon and candy was everywhere!

The giggling got louder, and he realized he was hearing two distinct people.

"Oh merciful heavens, Lardo, I can't believe you talked me into this! It's not like he can even BE here!"

"Yeah, and Halloween isn't until Monday, but that isn't stopping us from partying tonight, Bitty Bunny. I'm just saying, show him a little holiday spirit, maybe get his ass down here. I know for a FACT he's free from Monday afternoon until Wednesday morning. And if he sees you in that, you can take a break from kind of sad Skype sex and actually get some."

Chowder had stopped flossing in favor of eavesdropping, but was full of questions.

"LARISSA! I will have you know there is NOTHING sad about Skype sex. Which YOU would know if you would just put on your big girl panties and do something about Shitty. Lord knows he's too worried about making you uncomfortable to make the first move."

"Firstly, shut up about Shitty, and secondly, he'd probably prefer I NOT put on my panties? I mean? It's Shits."

Chowder slapped his hands over his mouth to keep from giggling, wincing as he smashed his lip into his braces.

"Fine. I will wear this godforsaken costume tonight if you stop talking to me about your panties. Deal?"

"Agreed. Now, come into the bathroom, the lighting is better in there for drawing your whiskers on."

Chowder scurried back into his room and shut his side of the bathroom door as quickly and quietly as possible. Bitty had a boyfriend? With whom he had Skype sex? Lardo had A Thing for Shitty? He struggled into his Left Shark costume and made his way downstairs, still confused, and remembering too late that his braces were still full of caramel.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dex and Nursey, and the downside of dibs.

[3pm]

“Dexxxxxx,” Nursey whined, poking his finger into his teammate-and now roomate’s-arm. “Dex, we HAVE to. Holster and Ransom were very specific.”

“Nursey, I am NOT interested in doing some stupid fake seance! And Holster and Ransom are gone now, anyway, so it isn't like they'll KNOW if we did it or not.”

Nursey and Dex’s sophomore year had gone better than their first. They were getting along better and connecting well on the ice. Well enough, in fact, that Ransom and Holster had given them dibs on the Attic bedroom, drunkenly announcing that “ice bros gotta stick together!”

Unfortunately, they'd also insisted Nursey and Dex pay proper respects to the Haus Ghosts. Well, Holster insisted. Ransom just looked nervous and muttered that they'd better not piss them off because the Haus Ghosts had A Thing for hockey butts.

“Dex. Dex. Dex. Dex. De-”

“Oh my god, if I agree will you shut the fuck up already?!”

“Obviously.”

“Fine. Do you have, I dunno, candles and a Ouija board or some shit?”

Nursey rummaged in a plastic storage tub, murmuring his assent.

“Always Prepared, Dex, that’s me. Me and the Boy Scouts of America. Well. I never WAS a Boy Scout, but I've known a few over the years. We should do this at midnight. You really in?”

“This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you've ever had. Of course I'm in. And when nothing happens, and I'm laughing my ass off at you, remember this moment. Because ghosts aren't real, and I'm saving this I Told You So FOREVER.”

[2am]

“Nursey!” whispered Dex, panic and fear in his voice. “Wake the FUCK UP.”

“Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiist, Dex, what do you want?”

“Do you hear that?”

“What, you disturbing my sleep?”

“Shut UP, Nursey,” Dex continued, voice entering into hysteria. “Tell me you can hear that music. I swear to god, New Kids On The Block is playing IN THE CLOSET!”

“Chill, dude. I don't hear it, I'm sorry. Are you-WHAT THE FUCK?! Did you just TOUCH my ASS, Dex?!”

“I'm all the way down here, I didn't touch your ass! And don't tell me to chill! Oh my god, the Haus Ghosts are actually real, oh holy shit! Move over, Nursey!”

“What?”

“Move the fuck over, I'm not sleeping by myself tonight!”

Mandy and Jenny giggled to themselves. They missed their last Hockey Boys, but these two seemed like they'd be a lot of fun.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 40, "Have I entered an alternate universe or did you just crack a smile for me?"

Jack was having a very hard time concentrating at morning skate and the team meeting afterwards. He had hoped to be done and on the road to Samwell an hour before, but not only did drills go overtime, this meeting was lasting forever. He shifted again in his seat, trying to inconspicuously check the time. Bitty had class until 1, and Jack knew once he got back to the Haus, Ransom and Holster would see it as their solemn duty to immediately take him out for his first legal drunken adventure. Jack had hoped to get there in time to surprise him, before Bitty was out getting hammered, but fortune was definitely not on his side today.

Finally, they were let loose from their meeting just after noon, but only for a fifteen minute break. Jack ducked into a quiet hallway and opened FaceTime, hoping to catch Bitty on his walk home. 

“Well, look who's calling!” Bitty said, a smile lighting up his face. 

“I wanted to catch you before shenanigans started. Happy birthday! Has it been a good day so far?”

“Chowder tried to make me french toast this morning. Poor boy made a mess of Betsy Two and managed to burn AND undercook it at the same time. But now I get to see your face, so my day is definitely looking up.”

“I wish I was there with you.”

“Me too, darlin’. Who's going to remind me to drink water? I think Rans and Holster are planning on Spring C levels of drunkenness, and here I am without the best back to ride on,” Bitty said, smirking at Jack with a wink.

Jack flushed, then looked around the corner to make sure no one was coming.

“Bits, the next time I see you, you can ride any damn thing you want.”

Footsteps approached, and Jack sighed.

“I've got to go, sweetheart, someone's coming and our break is almost over. Happy birthday, I love you. Drink plenty of water. Make them feed you real food before pouring liquor down your throat.”

“Love you too, honey. Talk later!”

Guy rounded the corner as Jack put his phone in his pocket. 

“Back to work, eh?” Jack remarked, following Guy back to the conference room.

Back in his seat, Jack couldn't keep the glum look off his face.

“What's problem?” Tater asked quietly as the other Falcs sat back down.

“My former teammate’s 21st birthday is today. It’s kind of tradition now that I chirp him and make sure he stays in one piece when he drinks like he'll be drinking soon. I had hoped to be up there in time.”

“Is too bad. He be okay, hockey player, right? He won't need babysitter. Not even NHL babysitter friend.”

The meeting lasted another half hour, and Jack nearly tripped over his own feet trying to get out the door, anxious to get on the road.

“Whoa!” griped Guy, as he jumped out of the way, Jack not looking back. “What's his deal?”

“Zimmboni on way back to college for teammate’s birthday. He's good friend,” said Tater.

Guy looked up quickly, the snippets of overheard conversation falling into place, and slowly a grin made its way across his face.

“Have I entered alternate universe or did you really just crack smile for me?” Tater demanded. “Is like Twilight Zone!”


End file.
